Think of the last time you walked into a room and no one said a word but you knew something was wrong.  So you ask "what's wrong" and the answer 'nothing' comes back.  But the way  the word nothing was said let you know there was a major problem. (And probably your fault!)  

In fact, we can say 'nothing' about fifteen different ways and each time we say it, it has a different meaning.  Be warned!  Our non verbal communication is 80-93% of everything we communicate; our words are the rest.  
 

I like to describe it as if we all walk around with invisible fish bowls on our heads and in this fish bowl are 'sparkly bits'.  My sparkly bits and your sparkly bits talk to each other all the time. We cannot hide them. If what comes out of my sparkly bits doesn't match what comes out of my mouth, then other people will ALWAYS pick up the sparkly bit message.   

What ever we are thinking, saying to ourselves or imagining about another person as we are talking or listening to them, will shine through loud and clear to them via the sparkly bits. 

For example,  have you ever met someone at a party and spoken to them for a while only to walk away thinking 'I don't know, they seemed really nice but something didn't click/ feel right etc'?  Trust those feelings because what you picked up was the sparkly bit message from that person - the truth -  and it didn't match what came out of their mouth.   

We don't know the exact message being sent but our sparkly bits pick up their sparkly bits (call it intuition if you prefer) and we sense something incongruent  (big word meaning we sense something doesn't fit, seem right).

No matter how clever we are, how good an actor we might be, we cannot hide our sparkly bit message.  That's why people know who is single but desperate! Out of these people's mouths are coming the words "I love being single;  having independence;  I can do my on thing etc etc";  meanwhile their sparkly bits are screaming out to everyone "PLEASE HELP ME, TAKE ME, I HATE BEING SINGLE!"  The day we change our sparkly bit message is the day we start attracting others!

Children are masters at picking up sparkly bit messages.  I remember a story by Stephen Covey in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" in which he describes their children.  

Apparently the first five (he had six!) were wonderfully successful (according to his definition of healthy, happy and making money).  The last child had trouble keeping up at school; at sport; at making friends. But they loved him and supported him by offering encouragement and protection from taunts.  Until he was writing his book.  At which point he and his wife realised that they both deep down believed that something was wrong with this child. And that was the message he continually received from them.

The day they changed what they thought, and saw him as a 'normal and perfect just as he was' child is the day he started improving. He finished up being school and sport captain and very popular. Be wary of what you think, believe about or say to yourself about anyone - especially your children.

Animals pick up sparkly bits as well as children. They can pick your mood -often before you do! And cats haters know this better than anyone!

If you have a partner,  think about what your sparkly bits said to your partner in the early days of your relationship.  I adore you; I think you are wonderful; you are perfect;  you can do no wrong. There is no doubt that this brings out the  best in any person!  And they will move heaven and earth for you because no one else has ever believed in them so much!  Or sent them these messages.    

What do you say to yourself about your partner now?  Yet have they changed as a person? Are they really so different?  Or are you spending your time and energy focusing on their other than good points?  Try changing what you say to yourself or think/ believe about your partner and see what dramatic changes you notice in their behaviour as a result.   

We are not taught about the power of non verbal communication in schools, although we unconsciously know it.  Imagine the impact in interview situations - if you believe you are perfect for this job, that you are good enough it will shine through your sparkly bits!  And the interviewers will be impressed even if they can't quite 'put their finger on' why. If you go in hoping they don't find out how hopeless you are, don't bother going in! Because they'll pick up that message too!

And last, but not least. Sparkly bits are the way people become sleaze bags!  A man (of course, it could be a woman as well) can be talking to a woman and out of his mouth are coming that words 'my, what an intelligent, attractive, charming woman you are'.  Meanwhile his sparkly bits are sending out the message of 'WOW, great body'!  Yes guys, it's true, we know!  Of course, if a woman did the same thing she'd be very popular!!  Ha, ha just kidding! 

Anyway, think about what your sparkly bits are saying  - they're more important than you could possibly imagine!