Stress is inevitable, struggle is optional!

I first heard this saying years ago and as I was walking through the park one morning, preparing for this article, it popped into my mind! And of course it is the essence of what I think about spirituality!

Most people hear the word spiritual and immediately think of religion. But I think of it in a very different way - I think spirituality is about our 'spirit'; that part of us that gives us our zest for life, our playfulness and enthusiasm. It's the part of us which makes us whole when we live from it and it keeps us connected to ourselves, to others and to whatever universal energy there is. It allows us to be 'in the flow' of what's happening to us which takes away the effort and struggle.

Now, before you stop reading this, muttering 'that's it, she's finally gone cosmic", think about the number of elite athletes who say their best performances are when they are 'in the zone', or 'in the flow' and recall the number of books written on performance that describe the optimum state to attain is 'in the zone or flow'.

Athletes or authors report that when they achieve this state or reach this space (substitute with words that make sense to you) whatever they are doing just seems to flow easily. There is no effort, no fatigue and very often, no time. Cricketers talk about seeing the ball (travelling at 200 kph) coming towards them in slow motion. They can even see the seam on the ball!

Our spirit is something that we rarely consider - until we have lost it. The symptoms of a lost spirit can be depression, loneliness, emptiness, a feeling of disconnectedness and isolation, confusion, unhappiness, sadness, anger or frustration, numbness. A healthy, nurtured spirit means we feel alive - we vibrate with energy and vitality and a sense of excitement about living. We are generally content, peaceful, calm, joyful and we feel supported - even when we are not surrounded by people.

How do we, in a society driven by speed and a desire to be doing something at all times, reconnect with our spirits? I say reconnect because as children we are our spirits! Watch and play with a toddler for a couple of hours and you will have the best lesson in how to find your spirit.

Being still is one of the best ways to find your spirit and it's a skill many of us have forgotten! We are so busy frantically rushing around that when we are just being still and catching our breath, or letting our souls catch up with our bodies, we feel guilty!

We need to practice physical and mental stillness. 

The physical is relatively easy - find a peaceful, beautiful and soothing place - a garden, a sunny spot, stop the car where there is a gorgeous view , or maybe it's a place inside you, a favourite childhood hideaway - and just stay there. Resist the urge to do anything. Observe what is around you. Really see and feel the beauty of the flowers, trees, clouds or sky. And notice what happens to your body as it slows down and you can (finally) breathe easily. You may be surprised that your mind follows by becoming still and you have a sense of clarity.

This feeling of clarity around how you really feel or think, is a great sign of being in touch with your spirit - that inner you that is full of wisdom and peace. It's the same feeling the athletes experience when they are in 'the zone'. It's a 'knowing' - somehow you just know the truth about situations or what you need to do or how you feel or think.

Another powerful way to practice mental stillness is to meditate. Which does not require you to do a way out woo woo sort of cosmic thing...man. It's a word that is used to describe a deep state of relaxation in which our brain waves change. When we are awake our brain waves roll along at a fast pace; when we sleep they are slower but the slowest waves occur during meditation.

It is this level of waves that we can heal ourselves. There are many published scientific studies that have shown (amongst lots of other beneficial findings) that the immune system is dramatically boosted when we meditate - which in turn resists and cures disease.

There are places you can go to learn to meditate - Transcendental meditation centres if you have a lot of money;  lifestyle centres, adult education classes. Or you can read books or buy audio tapes that will guide you through a meditation, often using visualisation. Or you can just find a quiet place and focus on your breathing for 20 minutes. Twice a day is ideal but if you can only manage once, it's still much better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!

The following technique is one of the most powerful and beneficial. Not to mention it's cheap and simple!
Imagine your breath flowing into and out of your body via your stomach area; give it a colour if you life and remember, it's natural for your mind to keep shooting out stray thoughts! The trick to meditation is to notice the thought your mind has just sent out, think 'that's interesting' and immediately and gently bring your attention back to your breath and the flow of the breath. It's a sort of training for your mind to do only one thing at once.

And it will help you find your lost spirit!

"Some people will never learn anything because they grasp everything too soon. Wisdom, after all, is not a station you arrive at but a manner of travelling. If you travel too fast you will miss the scenery. To know exactly where you are headed may be the best way to go astray. Not all those who loiter are lost." - Anthony de Mello